The Secret Flower of the Heart

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The Secret Flower of the Heart

Come, Friend,
leave your comings and goings,
abandon your business in the world
and bolt the gate.
Take to your solitude now,
for we must learn of our own
ebbs and flows,
tides and warm breezes.

This is called Returning to Yourself.
Come, drop below the surface
and seek your comfort in the depths.
Here is contentment that rests upon
no outer circumstance.

In watering a plant, moisture seeps down
and nourishes its unseen roots.
In solitude, we let our attentions seep down as well,
down to the roots of who we are.
Only then a flower may bud and bloom.
This is the secret flower of the heart,
a pure light kindled, a shining star.

And see!
The identity we have so long shaped
is all edges and postures now.
It is no longer you,
only a garment to be set aside in this hour.
You are transparency, a calm breath.

Emptiness is the harvest here,
an open space,
wherein the Great Fullness may enter,
where even words like these are cast aside.

-Michael Green

Artwork : Flowering Heart by LucidCrimson@DeviantArt

Transformational Fire

Last week a few of my artist friends and I got together to burn some artwork.

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I am in the process of re-jigging my studio so that the supplies for the next few projects I have in mind are readily accessible.  In the process, I cleared out some unused mattes and pieces of wood & card board.  I had culled several drawings from my portfolio that weren’t worth hanging onto, as well.  All very good fuel for the fire. For ages, I’ve had a long box stuffed with shredded paper that I got in a delivery, which has been sitting under one of my worktables.

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Stuck to it was a piece of card with my name stamped on it.  I’ve been saving it for just this moment.

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I made an effigy of my younger self to put onto the flames.  She is made from fragile twigs, with arms that reach for, but can not grasp.

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I wrote some words on the outside of the box.

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I hereby consign to the flames:  MELINDA the Younger.

The one who doubts, the one who questions herself,
the one who thinks she isn’t good enough,
THE ONE AFRAID TO MAKE A MESS
the one who thinks everyone else is better,
the one afraid to make her Mark,
the one afraid to shift her shape & the one afraid to shape her shift,
the one who needs to be right,
AFRAID
the one who feels wrong,
the one always reaching but never having,
AFRAID
the one who waits until . . . . until . . . . until . . . .
the one afraid to speak the truth into her art,
the one afraid to try,
the one afraid to fail,
the one afraid to be the best,
the one who doesn’t know she is enough,
AFRAID
the timid one,
the procrastinator and waster of talent,
the fritterer away of time,
AFRAID
the one who thinks that everyone is looking,
the one who thinks she can’t be seen,
the invisible one,
AFRAID
the one who wants to disappear,
the coward,
the one who makes pleasing art,
the squanderer of creative riches,
AFRAID
the one who makes art to please the judge and jury,
the unbrave one,
the seeker of approval,
AFRAID
the one who waits for the OK,
the seeker of safety,
the one who doesn’t dare.

THE WARRANTY ON FEAR IS NULL AND VOID

– Melinda Schwakhofer, 2015

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It was a powerful and spontaneous evening.  The Full Moon was coupled with Jupiter in Leo.

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I am not that big into astrology, although I am a Leo.  Apparently this is a big year for us!  I decided to look into this special celestial event.

“This is a celebration Moon.   A reward for the hard work and intense striving that you have done.

Be curious about life. Be engaged in the magic of the moment. Be in your heart.

Let go of the need to criticize and judge. This will kill your creativity. Instead, allow yourself to make mistakes. It is the only way to learn what works and what does not work for you.

The magic word is ‘try. ‘Try something different. Try and observe with your mind and your heart open.”

I also burnt a nest I made last Springtime with clay eggs which never hatched.

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A phoenix seemed to rise out of the flames.

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We found a huge wooden sword which we used to bless and knight each of us.

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We each said our word for the year.

   fire · loyalty · health · recognition · brave

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Source:  Mystic Mamma

The Three Little Pigs a la Dahl

We had some levity in our Monday morning drawing class with a reading of The Three Little Pigs from Roald Dahl’s Revolting Rhymes.

 

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The Three Little Pigs

The animal I really dig,
Above all others is the pig.
Pigs are noble. Pigs are clever,
Pigs are courteous. However,
Now and then, to break this rule,
One meets a pig who is a fool.
What, for example, would you say,
If strolling through the woods one day,
Right there in front of you you saw
A pig who’d built his house of STRAW?
The Wolf who saw it licked his lips,
And said, “That pig has had his chips.”
“Little pig, little pig, let me come in!”
“No, no, by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin!”
“Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in!”

The little pig began to pray,
But Wolfie blew his house away.
He shouted, “Bacon, pork and ham!
Oh, what a lucky Wolf I am!”
And though he ate the pig quite fast,
He carefully kept the tail till last.
Wolf wandered on, a trifle bloated.
Surprise, surprise, for soon he noted
Another little house for pigs,
And this one had been built of TWIGS!

“Little pig, little pig, let me come in!”
“No, no, by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin!”
“Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in!”

The Wolf said, “Okay, here we go!”
He then began to blow and blow.
The little pig began to squeal.
He cried, “Oh Wolf, you’ve had one meal!
Why can’t we talk and make a deal?
The Wolf replied, “Not on your nelly!”
And soon the pig was in his belly.

“Two juicy little pigs!” Wolf cried,
“But still I’m not quite satisfied!
I know how full my tummy’s bulging,
But oh, how I adore indulging.”
So creeping quietly as a mouse,
The Wolf approached another house,
A house which also had inside
A little piggy trying to hide.
“You’ll not get me!” the Piggy cried.
“I’ll blow you down!” the Wolf replied.
“You’ll need,” Pig said, “a lot of puff,
And I don’t think you’ve got enough.”
Wolf huffed and puffed and blew and blew.
The house stayed up as good as new.
“If I can’t blow it down,” Wolf said,
I’ll have to blow it up instead.
I’ll come back in the dead of night
And blow it up with dynamite!”
Pig cried, “You brute! I might have known!”
Then, picking up the telephone,
He dialed as quickly as he could
The number of red Riding Hood.

“Hello,” she said. “Who’s speaking? Who?
Oh, hello, Piggy, how d’you do?”
Pig cried, “I need your help, Miss Hood!
Oh help me, please! D’you think you could?”
“I’ll try of course,” Miss Hood replied.
“What’s on your mind…?” “A Wolf!” Pig cried.
“I know you’ve dealt with wolves before,
And now I’ve got one at my door!”

“My darling Pig,” she said, “my sweet,
That’s something really up my street.
I’ve just begun to wash my hair.
But when it’s dry, I’ll be right there.”

A short while later, through the wood,
Came striding brave Miss Riding Hood.
The Wolf stood there, his eyes ablaze,
And yellowish, like mayonnaise.
His teeth were sharp, his gums were raw,
And spit was dripping from his jaw.
Once more the maiden’s eyelid flickers.
She draws the pistol from her knickers.
Once more she hits the vital spot,
And kills him with a single shot.
Pig, peeping through the window, stood
And yelled, “Well done, Miss Riding Hood!”

Ah, Piglet, you must never trust
Young ladies from the upper crust.
For now, Miss Riding Hood, one notes,
Not only has two wolfskin coats,
But when she goes from place to place,
She has a PIGSKIN TRAVELING CASE.

– Roald Dahl

 

 

Crazy Brave

My Monday morning drawing class resumed this week. We have each been asked to bring in a poem or piece of prose for Andrea to read out loud during our warm up exercise. I chose a poem written by Mvskoke poet and musician Joy Harjo from her memoir Crazy Brave for our first session.

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Fear Poem, or I Give You Back

I release you, my beautiful and terrible
fear. I release you. You were my beloved
and hated twin, but now, I don’t know you
as myself. I release you with all the
pain I would know at the death of
my children.

You are not my blood anymore.

I give you back to the soldiers
who burned down my home, beheaded my children,
raped and sodomized my brothers and sisters.
I give you back to those who stole the
food from our plates when we were starving.

I release you, fear, because you hold
these scenes in front of me and I was born
with eyes that can never close.

I release you
I release you
I release you
I release you

I am not afraid to be angry.
I am not afraid to rejoice.
I am not afraid to be black.
I am not afraid to be white.
I am not afraid to be hungry.
I am not afraid to be full.
I am not afraid to be hated.
I am not afraid to be loved.

to be loved, to be loved, fear.

Oh, you have choked me, but I gave you the leash.
You have gutted me but I gave you the knife.
You have devoured me, but I laid myself across the fire.

I take myself back, fear.
You are not my shadow any longer.
I won’t hold you in my hands.
You can’t live in my eyes, my ears, my voice
my belly, or in my heart my heart
my heart my heart

But come here, fear
I am alive and you are so afraid of dying.

- Joy Harjo

 

We drew with our eyes closed and my heart felt strong.

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I don’t normally make a New Year’s resolution, but on the 31st Steve asked me and I said, “I want to make more art work that matters to me”. Sometimes my art making has been about sheer beauty or experimentation, sometimes it has been made with the aim of being selected for a particular competition or an art show. Last year, I have been working more with my hands (rather than with my sewing machine) and choosing my Muscogee history, heritage and culture for my subject matter. This year, I intend for my art work to be more personal, honest and cutting edge.

I do usually choose a word for the year. This year my word is brave.

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Full circle

The Muscogee concept of space contains the key idea of seven directions.  There are the four cardinal directions – North, East, South and West.   The fifth is downward into the earth, and the sixth is upward towards the sky. The seventh is the centre of the observerboea fikcha/puyvfekcv/fekcv, fire within spirit, or energy.  I love this because it places the individual within the entire world/universe.  In this instance, our view takes on a three-dimensional perspective so that the universe becomes a sphere instead of a circle.

The Muscogee annual buskida, or green corn dance is the most important festival, occurring in late summer.  The ceremonial ground has a central fire which contains the seven directions.  The four logs point to the first four directions.  The base and the rocks in the earth point downward, the smoke moves upward and the fire remains at the centre.

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Symbolically, this parallels the Muscogee concept of self, which includes four external sacred paths, each with its own values, sometimes represented with colours.  Internally, the Muscogee spirit is rooted downward to Mother Earth, the fire of energy burns in the centre of the person, the spirit spirals upward in the Muscogee mind, and it exits through the top of the head at death to join the spirit and energy linkages with the rest of the cosmos.  Symbolically, the spirit within is in harmony with the Spirit without.

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The year begins by igniting a New Fire at Green Corn Ceremony

I first learned about this concept a few years ago when I began reading about the Muscogee culture and worldview.  Initially, it was a purely intellectual concept, but as I have been journeying inwards and embracing my culture on a personal level it has become an internal orientation.  I think that because my Dad had lost touch with and rejected his indigenous heritage, that I grew up feeling disconnected from my ancestry and all of the richness of our culture.  Likewise, for many years I was disconnected from the pain and dislocation associated with our post-Contact history.  As I have been able to acknowledge the grief and deep loss that our people have suffered and passed down through the generations, I am coming to a deep appreciation of our culture and worldview and becoming grounded and centered in a way I never thought possible.  I feel like I am inhabiting my life from the inside out.

I made this piece recently from two whippy branches, gold thread, a metal & shell heart and some honesty.  This embodies the way that  I see my place in the world – contained, in the moment, with a three dimensional orientation and universal view.

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The center of the circle of life is within all of us as we seek to find it.

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Sources:

The Busk Fire, Source of Balance and Harmony

A Sacred Path: The Way of the Muscogee Creeks

Art Felt

Today, I drew with wool.  Yuli Somme is a felt maker based on Dartmoor.  She has made a new kit for artists who would like to ‘draw’ with felt and wool.  Myself and three other women gathered at Yuli’s studio in Moretonhampstead to trial the kit and give feedback.

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This is what I made.

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Nightwatcher, wool, 16 x 21 cm.

October Tree, wool, 21 x 30 cm

October Tree, wool, 21 x 30 cm

October Tree, detail

October Tree, detail

I really enjoyed the process and already have some ideas for a couple of larger pieces I’d like to make.  The kits are a very good introduction to drawing with wool and have everything you need to go on and make whatever your imagination comes up with.  (We had a big discussion about not ending sentences with a prepositions, but the last clause is an infinitive structure, so ‘What the hey!’  Plus it’s my blog, so I can do what I want . . . . to.)

You will be able to purchase Yuli Somme’s Art Felt kits from her website Bellacouche and at a few Dartmoor venues soon!